Hervatski.com – A little bit of everything. And Unicorn.

What’s a black hole?  It’s a star, that collapsed in on itself.  Or so they say.  “They” being dorks.  “Dorks” being dumbasses who spend WAYYYY too much time in books and WAYYYY neglecting being COOL.  Because fuck you, you’re theory on whatever will last what, hundreds of years?  But my cool ass walking by and pushing you lasts your whole LIFE!

Awww…sorry nerds   It’s funny to think that someone can build a machine that cures world hunger, but he’ll NEVER get over being bullied hahaahaha sorry I keep laughing.  But I just imagine a super rich dude getting scared when the jock guy from revenge of the nerds walks by.

So moving on, I present to you your sun…

And now I give you your black hole…

So I kept thinking, “I wonder what strawberry goobers tastes like on grape goobers?  Then I thought, “OH SHIT!  I WONDER WHAT GRAPE GOOBERS TASTE LIKE ON STRAWBERRY GOOBERS!” And then my brain started to hurted and I cried

I cried and cried

But then I went back to eating Peanut Butter.

And I pee’d.

Well let me tell you something friends, you taste the shitty Peanut Butter, but when strawberry and grape battle, STRAWBERRY WINS!!! STRAWBERRY FUCKS SHIT UP, MAN!!!

Seriously strawberry is the greatest flavor of all time.  It works so well EVERYWHERE.  Not like peach.  Fuck you peach, you can’t make good Peanut Butter sandwiches, now can you!?  awww…peach don’t cry I’m sorry.  I’m sorry peach, it’s alright, there there.

ONTO THE JUDGING!

Goobers grape Peanut Butter gets…

A hooptie.

Goobers strawberry Peanut Butter gets…

An ice cream cone.

With an overall score of…

A gay lizard.

Thank you.

What do you eat when you’re hungry?  Say it’s late, maybe 8pm.  And you don’t want to eat heavy, but you also don’t want to eat skittles.  It’s either heavy food or skittles with you, isn’t it!?  So what does a handsome man eat then?

Fuck yo grilled cheese!  GOOBER’S GONNA FUCK YO GRILLED CHEESE UP SON, WAHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOTHA FUCKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BAD WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the left there is the grape, on the right is the strawberry, and directly under it is the shadow for my fucking gigantic head.  Seriously, if you ever see an eclipse it’s just my fat ass moving past the sun.  A lot of times if I sneeze cell phone towers go out.

I’m a master of making grilled cheese, but I fucked up here.  Reason being, I’ve never cooked Peanut Butter and Jelly in a grilled cheese sandwich.  I think I had the heat up too high too, since the cheese didn’t melt too well, the Peanut Butter and Jelly didn’t get too warm, and mango’s didn’t fly out of my bunghole.

LOOKIT MY KEYBOARD!

The grape side of the sandwich tasted like cigarettes.

Not that it’s a bad thing.  If you’ve ever smoked, there’s nothing tastier than having a cigarette after a few drinks.  It just fills you with happiness and smoke.  Smokey happiness.  Like the smoke monster from Lost, but without the smashing, but as handsome as Locke.  Locke is so kewt!

The strawberry side tasted a LITTLE like cigarettes but then strawberry.  Which was delicious.

Both were very creamy because of the heat and the cheese and the butt mangos.  I would make this sandwich again, as the cooking kind of got rid of the HORRIBLE taste of the Peanut Butter.  Seriously Goobers, you’re not good at the Peanut Butter, but your jelly, I’d like to showcase that jelly to all my homies.

ON TO THE JUDGING!!!

Goobers grape Peanut Butter gets…

A jump kick.

Goobers strawberry Peanut Butter gets…

A…flamingo?

With an overall score of…

Dolla Dolla bill y’all!

Thank you.

Just got off the airplane.

Sitting down and waiting.

Some women look lik they tried out for delta burkes spot on designing women.

I’m gonna watch lost now fuck this.

Ok, so we all know that comics come out one day later if there’s a holiday…well there was! I went to disneyland! YEYEYEY. It’s a holiday!!! So comics are coming out late, because, because because. Ok? I’m tired, lib meh alon.

That’s scary!!!

Christmas is serious business!!!

I want to go to the moon!!!

What if people could fly…

Sleep pissing, and you…

You don’t look fat…

France is awesome!!!

Ok, so a friend is visiting from out of town and I wasn’t able to watch this week’s episode of Lost

But don’t cry!  STOP CRYING DAMNIT!

Instead of anablogging Lost, I’ve decided to…well, anablog Lost.  But instead of watching the show, as I was out and about the town I instead just anablogged what I thought was happening on the show, after the show.  See if I can predict the events of the show.  Just by glancing at my anablogs, I’m almost positive I got about  90% of the events of this past episode down.  I’m not only super strong and handsome, but I’m psychic as well!

WHAAAAA!!!!

So read up, enjoy, and let us ALL try and find a way for Hurley to put down the ranch dressing

Awww, he’s all sad now.  Here’s a cup of ranch to tide you over big guy!