Hervatski.com – A little bit of everything. And Unicorn.

Ok, so a friend is visiting from out of town and I wasn’t able to watch this week’s episode of Lost

But don’t cry!  STOP CRYING DAMNIT!

Instead of anablogging Lost, I’ve decided to…well, anablog Lost.  But instead of watching the show, as I was out and about the town I instead just anablogged what I thought was happening on the show, after the show.  See if I can predict the events of the show.  Just by glancing at my anablogs, I’m almost positive I got about  90% of the events of this past episode down.  I’m not only super strong and handsome, but I’m psychic as well!

WHAAAAA!!!!

So read up, enjoy, and let us ALL try and find a way for Hurley to put down the ranch dressing

Awww, he’s all sad now.  Here’s a cup of ranch to tide you over big guy!

Someone change the channel.

So I’ve got a lot of food in my fridge that lasts a long time. Frozen…everything. Oh! And a box of sees candy. But everything else is frozen, so I’m limited to the amount of stuff I can eat in any given day. If you want a turkey sandwich? I got you a turkey sandwich! You want a turkey burger? I get you that turkey burger! You want lil’ smokies? NO THEY’RE MINE MINE ALL MINE!

So that’s why…

Fucking hell that’s a nice crisp picture, isn’t it?

So I’m pretty sure I did the Peanut Butter turkey burger song and dance, right?  Right.  But did I do it with Jelly?  Fuck you I did it with Jelly what’s she saying!?

The turkey burgers are kind of bland.  bland because I have NOOOOO idea how to cook them.  See, I just put them in a pan with butter, and throw terriaki sauce on top!  And then the smoke comes.  It’s like my oven is the island from Lost, and the smoke is Claire.  Because it’s fucking insane.

If you kind of squint, it looks like bacon, doesn’t it?  hahaha if you type quick and miss the space bar it says doesn’ tit!  TIT!  hehehehe

So the left is grape…or ham…and the right is starwberry?  They both tasted about the same.  I couldn’t taste the difference between the two, which is fine.  Both have AWFUL Peanut Butts in them, so I don’t care if I can’t taste them.  The saltiness of the turkey patty coupled with the sweetness of the Jelly really did make a nice combination.  Also, that awesome Ken’s Steakhouse Thousand Island hits the spot, EVERY TIME!

I don’t think I’d eat this particular combination again.  Reason being, if I did mix the correct portion of Peanut Butter and Jelly it would have just taken over the whole thing.  Thankfully I didn’t add too much Jelly and was able to crap my pants at the whole combination.

Ever wonder why crazy people hit themselves?

ONTO THE JUDGING!

Goobers grape Peanut Butter gets…

A drunk banana.

Goobers strawberry Peanut Butter gets…

A stick of butter.

With an overall score of….

Nevada and a naked chick.

Thank you.

So all day I had garlic burps.  I eat garlic a lot, but when it’s combined with butter and beef, my mouth is designated as the single largest source for the depletion of the ozone layer.  Scientists from northern Europe come and picket at my house to make me stop burping so often.  It’s so bad that when yo momma sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house!

So when I thought I was in the clear, I start eating jalapeno poppers.  Now I’m burping jalapeno’s.  Which isn’t great, but it’s not super bad.  The thing is, my poop will burn like the fires born in the center of the Sun.  My shit will melt the ice caps, and we’ll have no one else to blame but me.

Tomorrow might be detox day.  Maybe fruit for breakfast or lunch, and a spritz of eau de toilet for the….toilet…

The little pocket shit.  They were so dry.  I mean, they’re a BIG departure from soft white bread.  I know, obvious.  Like saying “that BMW is a BIG departure from that unicycle with no seat.”

My point is this people, I LOVE sandwiches.  I LOVE SANDWICHES SO MUCH EEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First thing to notice here, is the wonderful interplay of colors.  Purple, a nice green, and red.  Second, is the pita chips expire in 5 fucking months!  FUCK MAN!  FIVE FUCKING MONTHS!?!?!?!

The pita chips don’t taste like much.  Don’t expect to taste lays sour cream and onion chips when you bite into these bad boys.  All you taste is middle eastern people.  So I equate pita bread with middle eastern people, is there anything wrong with that!?

Here’s that grainy shit again.  What the fuck.  I thought maybe if the stuff was in the fridge it would taste different.  NOPE!  This tasted like grape drank.  Not grape DRINK, but grape DRANK.  Grape drank is grape flavored drink, but the SHITTY super cheap kind.  The kind that bl….let’s move on to the next picture.

What the fuck?  This tasted…good?  This tasted like a Peanut Butter and jelly sandwich!?!?  How the fuck is that possible?  Maybe my taste buds are fucked, but I doubt it.  I don’t eat tons of garlic on a daily basis for NOTHING!  This was good, but not take to Europe and buy a necklace for, good.  But it was better than steal their hat and poop in it, bad.

What was that?  Oh yeah, JUDGING TIME!

Goobers grape Peanut Butter gets…

A painting of a goat.

Goobers strawberry Peanut Butter gets…

Two marathon runners with one of them throwing up mid-race.

With a final score of…

A plate of fries and a coke.

Thank you.