They’re like wearing boxers, but acceptable in public. Sadly, I don’t have the body to wear boxers and have women throw their vaginas at me. Vaginas detach, if you didn’t already know this. Or is that a shoe? Shoe, vagina, same thing if you think about it.
I’ve never stepped into the ocean and thought “Wow, I’m going to just jump right in!” No. Every time the thought is, “Wow, if I go in any further my nuts will implode in on themselves.” I have something weird with me in terms of hot and cold. I can’t stand hot or cold things in my mouth. I can eat spicey food like nothing, but very mild food that’s oven hot? Forget it. I love warm things though, like mittens!
for a long time. I’ve never met a toilet I can’t clog. No, not because of the monster shits. The toilets welcome them. No, because of the insane amount of toilet paper I use. I just…I wonder how people use like, 2 squares. Does that mean a 4 pack of toilet paper lasts them 8 years? I go through a roll a day! And that’s without eating anything with fiber! Man, I make the quilted northern people a LOT of money.
Where you’d push off on them and go MAYBE 7 inches forward? And they made the most HORRIBLE sound on the concrete?
Fuck those things.
That a chocolate donut was floating above me. So when I woke up for a split second I still saw the donut, so I reached out for it. When my hand passed through air, THROUGH the donut, I got super sad for a good minute This isn’t a joke, this HAPPENED. I’m still kinda bummed about the whole ordeal. Mostly because chocolate covered donuts are usually my favorite. I mean, don’t get me wrong, glazed is still king. But chocolate covered is pretty much the uber hot chick in the crowd. You want the skanky chick for a minute, but you want to show off the hot chick. You wanna eat the glazed, but you want to LOVE the chocolate.