When you wish upon a star…

posted by hervatski on Mon, 07/09/2012 - 23:15

You get NOTHING!

Stars don’t give you wishes.

Homeless people do.

Ever wish for something real hard, and actually get it?  I once PRAYED for a turbographix 16.  A TURBO.  GRAPHICS.  16.  God must have been in heaven shaking his head, wondering how he made someone THAT dumb.

I love baked goods…

posted by hervatski on Mon, 07/09/2012 - 23:15

Baked goods are so delicious.  What’s better than cake?

PIE JERK ASS!  Pie is 10 times better.  It comes in it’s own DISH!  Then when you’re done, you can eat out of the dish AGAIN!  Cakes come on a paper plate.  You can’t wash a paper plate and use it to heat up cold pizza later in the oven!

Point.  Set.  Match.  PIE.

Fishsticks are delicious…

posted by hervatski on Mon, 07/09/2012 - 23:15

They were the only fish that I’d eat as a kid.  So when I got older, I got scared that I could never eat fish sticks again.  And then I got old…

And then discovered FISH N CHIPS!  These were entrees where they actually ENCOURAGED you to not only eat GIANT fish sticks but also FRENCH FRIES!  Fuuuuck yeah!  Score one for the little guy!

Until that little guy eats so much fried shit that he can’t fit through a little door.  Poor fatso…

The dukes of hazzard…

posted by hervatski on Mon, 07/09/2012 - 23:15

Is one of the greatest shows ever, in MEMORY, but kinda…weird…if you watch it again.  Same with facts of life, you kinda feel weird about watching a show about unattractive women living…living…not entirely sure what the premise of that show is.

But different strokes?  CLASSIC.  I love fish out of water type stories, and mr. drummond CONSTANTLY didn’t know what the FUCK was going on around him!

What beats denny’s?

posted by hervatski on Mon, 07/09/2012 - 23:15

IHOP.  IHOP has VASTLY superior pancakes.

But IHOP is NOT open late!  Usually isn’t.  Denny’s man, Denny’s is freaking 24 hours!!!  And they have moon over myhammy.  It’s a grilled cheese with eggs and ham.  It’s like boobies and Jesus together.  Two awesome things, between buttered bread.  Mmmm…

Also I had diarhea after some Denny’s once.  Wasn’t pretty, but it got the job done.

Oh, and IHOP has chocolate chip pancakes.  Eat that shit with boysenberry syrup and you’re eating a delicious cake.  FUCK YOU TRY IT!!!!

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