Hervatski.com – A little bit of everything. And Unicorn.

So rounding my apartment complex…er…4 plex? 6 plex? The place I live, you come upon a giant bird feeder. It’s not so giant, but about 10 birds fly suddenly away when you walk down the pathway. I kept wondering who the fuck keeps feeding the birds. I mean, these aren’t inside birds. You can’t call to your parakeet and have it fly to you. These are wild things. You come within 10 feet and they fly the fuck away. So why even have a bird feeder? So you can stare at the birds from far away? That’s why they have the internet!

Anywho, I kept wondering who lived there, till I came home one day and saw a somewhat mean looking old dude with a scraggly beard enter the apartment. Either he was breaking in with his own set of keys, or he lived there. Either way, the guy looked scary. Like the shovel dude from home alone, but with darker hair, and in Huntington Beach. The guy kinda scared me, but I think I can make friends with him.

Next door is slammy mc slammerstein. This chick only knows one way to shut a door: by slamming the FUCK out of it. I’ve never heard her come home and close the door. The thing is, all the doors in this place close with the gentlest of ease. There’s NO resistence in any of the doors. And yet, this chick has made it her life goal to completely obliterate the door.

Below is an accurate portrayal as to how this chick comes home every day:

Hippie aging neighbors, bird man, and slammy mc slammerstein.  That’s 3 of em.  The other dude is fine…for now…