Hervatski.com – A little bit of everything. And Unicorn.

I love chocolate.  I love liver meow mix meow mix please dee-liv-er…

I had no intent on singing that, but there it is.

AND THIS IS!

Yes again this month we’ve got nutrigrain bars.  Why?  FUCK YOU WHY!  Listen, it’s a new flavor, it’s not just Peanut Butter, so I thought,

“OMG IF BRAD PITT HAD A KID WITH OPRAH THAT KID WOULD BE HALF BLACK AND HALF OPRAH!”

But then I thought

“You know what, chicken butt.  Also, it’s chocolate, like Oprah, so let’s revisit some of this stuff?”

And here we are.

That’s the inside of the maranatha chocolate Peanut Butter, not a picture of a colonoscopy from a man who’s eaten way too much Indian food.  The consistency of the stuff is very creamy, it has the consistency of all natural creamy peanut butter, where it just goes everywhere like some hooker in Hollywood who has a heart of gold and knows how to drive stick in a Lamborghini WHY WON’T YOU LOVE HER!!!!

Here’s the Peanut Butter & CO (known from this point forward as PBC) insides after wolverine clawed it.  Notice how it’s very thick, and there’s a crack in the side to show how it doesn’t move much.  Also notice the claw marks from Wolverine.

PBC notes that this is fun to eat.  Also, there’s a sleeping monkey with a grotesquely long arm.  Listen, if you have FUN eating Peanut Butter, like, you make time in your day and get in comfy clothing and start to giggle while you’re eating Peanut Butter, it’s probably best to kill youself now, before Mother Nature notices you’re still alive and comes back to finish the job she started long ago.

Notice how the Maranatha brand chocolate Peanut Butter is gooey?  That’s because it’s gooey.  Initially it had a very weird taste.  The PB brought out the blueberry taste though, like, the blueberry had added strength.  Maybe it did some pushups, maybe it ate some egg whites, I don’t know.  Kinda tasted like bubble gum.  Not sure if that was the actual combination or me having a tiny stroke.

The PBC had a very…brownie consistency.  That’s the best way I can describe it without getting naked.  Imagine a very moist brownie, it’s like that but without nudity.  It had a very chalky taste, not sure what that was.

ONTO THE JUDGING!

Maranatha Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter gets:

A leprechaun buying a used car with his pot of gold.

Peanut Butter and Company Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter gets:

Italy.

With an overall score of:

My left arm.

Thank you.