Hervatski.com – A little bit of everything. And Unicorn.

No I’m not talking about Ty Diggs manboobies I’m talking about…ok for a second there I WAS talking about his manboobies, but I’m actually talking about:

These things! WHITE CHOCOLATE NIPPLES! No I’m not talking about Mark Cuban’s manboobies. My sister gave me some chocolate…chip…thingies? And said “REVIEW THESE!” To which I shouted “DONDE EST EL BANO!”

One might immediately pick up on the fact that my thumb has a weird hangnail type thing that I chewed off with my teeth, and one would be RIGHT.

The fuck did I do to my thumbnail? What are those little black line thingies in nails anyways? They always show up and take awhile to go away.

Where was I? Oh yeah!

So there I was on a boat headed for New Zealand with 10 hawaiian tropic models and I’m the only dude on board! “John, teach us how it is to love!” they screamed! “Sorry babies, I’m saving myself for my one true love” and then I started jacking off violently into the sea. “TAKE THIS SHAMOO!” I yelled. “FUCK YOU OCEAN!” I let out. “SUCK MY DICK JOHN!” the ocean replied back. “HOLY FUCK A TALKING OCEAN!”

The overall point of this was the white chocolate chip didn’t really mesh well with the Peanut Butter. I don’t know what’s a good mixture, whether it’s 2 or 3:1 ratio needed for white chocolate to Peanut Butter. All in all, it was a very unhealthy breakfast, and I’m not sure I knew which way was north for a good few hours.

No salt organic Whole Foods Peanut Butter gets:

A giraffe kicking a field goal.

Unsweetened organic Whole Foods Peanut Butter gets:

A Peanut Butter car driving down the street with a thing of coffee sitting on the roof.

With an overall score of:

A fat guy eating candy.

Thank you.