Hervatski.com – A little bit of everything. And Unicorn.

oh oh oh OHHHH fuck you.

I’ve decided, as a public service to you all, to break down Kesha’s new hit song, Tik Tok.  Below every lyric you will read the literal meaning of each line.  It should shed some light on the reason why this woman is devoid of anything.  She’s to music as snookie is to human beings.

(I’ve bolded the literal meanings for any idiots in the audience)

Tik Tok
CaCa Shit

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
I wish I were a black male.
(Hey, what up girl?)
YOU WHITE DEVIL!
Put my glasses on, Im out the door – Im gonna hit this city (Lets go)
I’m on a pathway towards single parenthood.
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
I ran out of quaker oats
Cause when I leave for the night, I aint coming back
Rape is the cool new thing
Im talking – pedicure on our toes, toes
I have frodo feet.
Trying on all our clothes, clothes
Give me 5 years and I won’t fit into anything at Lane Bryant.
Boys blowing up our phones, phones
Dad’s calling
Drop-toping, playing our favorite cds
I’m high as fuck because I obviously cannot operate machinery.
Pulling up to the parties
I think I’m passed out in a Chevron men’s room…
Trying to get a little bit tipsy
I am with child.

[CHORUS]
The rambling of a sad alcoholic
Dont stop, make it pop
Place your penis in my vagina.
DJ, blow my speakers up
Touch my boobs, if you will.
Tonight, Imma fight
I’ve successfully ripped off a chunk of another woman’s scalp.
Til we see the sunlight
My vagina has not seen the shade in quite some time.
Tick tock, on the click
No idea what this means.
But the party dont stop
I’ve drank enough alcohol to put out the sun.
Woah-oh oh oh
Celebration
Woah-oh oh oh
Celebration

[Chorus]
Whining

Aint got a care in world, but got plenty of beer
My GED will get me far in life.
Aint got no money in my pocket, but Im already here
Welfare is an institution.
Now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger
I pray one of these gentlemen has procured a condom.
But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger
He’s old enough to be my grandfather.
Im talking about – everybody getting crunk, crunk
Being of sound mind and body is a notion best left to our elders.
Boys trying to touch my junk, junk
Molestation.
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk
I’ve forgotten my pepper spray in the Chevron men’s bathroom.
Now, now – we goin til they kick us out, out
It’s only a matter of time that this gay bar realizes I am fondling their patrons.
Or the police shut us down, down
I know every police officer on a first name basis in a 10 block radius
Police shut us down, down
Is that officer michael?
Po-po shut us -
Po-Po is a form of cuisine in central new guinea.
[Chorus] x 2
Repeat insanity
DJ, you build me up
My son has your eyes, vagrant.
You break me down
I believe you’ve sexually assaulted me.
My heart, it pounds
My heart murmor does not go well with vodka.
Yeah, you got me
The tests show we are related.
With my hands up
Cease and desist.
You got me now
I’m charging you with assault.
You gotta that sound
I can’t do this anymore
Yea, you got me
This is the worst song I’ve ever heard, why do people listen to it?
DJ, you build me up
Are you listening to me?  HELLO!
You break me down
It’s just me in here, isn’t it?  I’m the only sane person left on this planet…
My heart, it pounds
I swear if I sang this shit I’d get arrested.
Yeah, you got me
I’ve lost all hope for the human race, we’ve truly hit a low we can never recover from.
With my hands up
Those mashed potatoes should have been cooked more.  They were too chunky.
Get your hands up
Goddamnit is this song over yet?  FUCK YOU YOUTH!
Put your hands up
If I had a gun right now, I’d need two bullets.  One to shoot myself in the leg, and another to end my misery.
No, the party dont stop until I walk in
If this chick walked into my house I’d have to bleach the door knob.
[Chorus] x 2
fuck you fuck you