Hervatski.com – A little bit of everything. And Unicorn.

“fuck you peanut butter, get outta mah gawddamn MOUF!”

And then the civil war started.

IT’S PEANUT BUTTER MONDAY BITCHES! WEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What’s on the menu today?

Apples?  Does peanut butter go with apples?  Does a black rapper like to act?

Not sure what type of apples these are.  If I remember my buying decisions, it’s probably whatever was the cheapest at Ralphs.  They look like fuji apples, but I’m not sure.  I’m not Canadian either.

So how does it taste?  I don’t fucking know!  Like an apple and peanut butter maybe?

DUH!

Above we have an apple, that in the span of 18 seconds, already became brown.  Fuck you nature.  On top is the no salt, ie: NO FUN peanut butter.  it doesn’t spread nicely, mainly because it says to refridgerate the stupid peanut butter…and then it becomes rock hard.  If I bring a jar of JIFF into the future 80 years I bet you 15 future dollars (glumgorts) that I can STILL eat the shit, AND it’ll spread nicely!  FUCK YOU ORGANIC BITCHES!

Unsweetened really has surprised me so far this month.  WTF I have a cut on my thumb?  In anycase, unsweetened organic PB from whole foods tastes very sweet.  Is it the palm oil?  I don’t know.  In anycase, it’s pretty delicious.  The peanut butter was left out for awhile, hence why it spread, and didn’t just tear the apple an asshole as I crammed the stupid thing on top of it.

Overall both peanut butters tasted good.  I like eating shit with apples, because that rush of cool juices really mixes well with anything.  That’s why sometimes I get protein style burgers at In’N'Out.  The lettuce juice makes the whole thing more juicy, though when you get to the end it’s like eating an asshole.  Or so I’ve heard. All I know is I was happy eating my apples and peanut butter, right Mr. Apple?

“FUCK yeah John!  I’m high as fuck!  I can see the stars moving through the ether!”
“Oh no Mr. Apple, you don’t look so good!”
“I don’t FEEL so good John!’

AHHH SICK DUDE!

What’s worse is I had to eat Mr. Apple AND his throwup!  AND THEY WERE DELICIOUS!

ONTO THE JUDGING!

No salt bullshit gets:

A picture of Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Unsweetened Organic ass shit gets:

A picture of Corey Hart…wtf does he have a comb over?

With an overall score of:

Corey Haim.

Thank you.