Tonight I was going to start live blogging Lost. I figured that’d be fun for you, and the whole family. Hell, even Grandma could join, with her stinky butt, but no. No it was not meant to happen. Why, do you ask?
Because I don’t have cable. The loser plight of the century. No other sadness in this world is as universally derided as the no cable dipshit. The no cable dipshit is the only idiot in a first world country that has no cable. If you live in the free world, you MUST have cable. Below are some examples of people who should not be persecuted for not having cable:
-The homeless
-Jewish people on Saturdays
-Homeless Jewish people on Saturdays.
-Supermodels
-Homeless Jewish supermodels at the grocery store?
My point is, if you tell someone in public that you don’t have cable, you mind as well tell them you met Chris Hanson. They’ll look at you strange, pull their kids closer to them, and hit you with pitch forks and torches.
So I’ll try and find a way around this Lost thing. I know for a fact though, that it won’t be by paying 40 bucks a month for cable. I’d rather bear hug a Jewish supermodel at Ralphs.
-one asian girl who lives in GG with her parrotlet
Now I’m even more depressed.
First of all, you can get that channel with bunny ears and a converter box, secondly it’s free on abc.com and lastly where the fuck is the peanut butter?!?