Hervatski.com – A little bit of everything. And Unicorn.

Well, I was going to do this whole thing about my place being, “Heaven” and then saying, “Heaven is a place on Earth!” and thenI was gonna post a link to Belinda Carlisle and call it a night, right?  WRONG.

I started to google the lady and I kept running into naked pictures!  Now, running into naked pictures is NEVER bad.  Unless it’s naked pictures of the old man at my gym that kind of just…stands there by the mirror.  And you KNOW you gotta look down to see how big his bush is, you just GOTTA!

My point is, why the FUCK did this chick get naked?  Is that the end of the road for any moderately successful woman in the entertainment industry?

“Mr. Agent, how do I get my career going again?
“Well Belinda, we could try a new album.”
“Mr. Agent, I have, it sucks because even I barely remember who I am.”
“Ok, it’s settled: PORN.”

It’s kind of depressing, if you think about it.  Is fame so addictive that you’d decide that the wholesome image you spent YEARS fashioning is no longer important, so you throw it all away for some nude photos?  Do you need the spotlight that much?  That moment is fleeting, and all you’re left with is your life long work and one gigantic event that in the span of things was so minor, but when looked at by the public, completely eclipses anything you’ve ever done!  Hell she wrote a song for a Disney movie!

I’m not saying nudity is bad, it’s not.  But it’s a cheap shock trick some people use.  Shock is good, shock is indeed great.  To bring your point across, sometimes you need a shocking element to place emphasis on what you’re really trying to say.  Comedians do it all the time, it’s called exageration.  It’s what makes something funny, while subtly telling the audience what you’re trying to say.  Nudity is LIKE this, but a cheap cheap form of it.  There’s little imagination involved, and even less creativity.  It’s a blatant, “look at me!” technique that’s no where near as good as talking about your boogers.

“But John, her nude photos were done tastefully!”

They were not raunchy, yes.  But they were not tasteful.  When you do a nude photo shoot and you are very subtle with the nudity, you’re trying to play me for a fool.  See, nudity is without clothes.  Nudity isn’t boobs or vagina.  She could have easily posed for pictures that were tasteful nudes without doing cheap tricks to show off nipples and bush.  That lounging look where you’re not in a raunchy pose, but the nips are prominent and the bush is just slightly peaking out?  Trickery.  A behind the back shot, meant to be, “playful” is instead you calling attention to ass.  You’re playing on my animalistic pedestrian mindset and it’s annoying.

Am I a prude?  No, I have enough fiber.  My point is please, don’t be suckered into sneaky tactics.  Sneaky tactics suck.

Like boobies.